Spring Fever?

Today, I spent most of the day looking out my office window, wishing I was someplace else. With someone else. Doing something else. I only worked when the phone rang or someone asked me a direct question.

I don’t see how you medical people do it. With your jobs, it looks like you would never be able to have an “off” day. Or a bad day. Or a I just don’t give a fuck day.

I think I need a vacation.

Post About Nothing

I had planned on posting something this weekend, but I made the mistake of wandering through the medblogs before I started writing. It was a mistake because after reading so many great blogs out there, I lost my will to write.

So instead of writing, I spent part of my allotted home computer time doing some research on EMTALA. I want to be a little more informed when I am reading the ER blogs. Pretty interesting, but I still have some unanswered questions.

While I was wandering through the medblogs, I stumbled on something kind of surprising. It seems some ER nurses have a dirty little secret. Something they like to call Emergency Nurse Porn. But it's probably not what you think. Geez, they are respected professionals. Of course it's not what you think.

I think I will make this a post a cliffhanger. (Really, I forgot the name of the ER nurse’s blog and this will give me time to find it again so I can link to it. I'd do it tonight, but Dr. Schwab is finally talking about gallbladders (!!!) and I have to go read his post.)

Silly Question

When I was growing up, my mother told me and my brothers to make sure that we always left the house wearing clean underwear and clean socks because “what if we were in an accident and had to go to the Emergency Room?” Do doctors and nurses really notice whether a patient is wearing clean underwear and socks?

[Umm. Just so we're clear on this. I would wear clean underwear and socks even if there wasn't a chance I might end up having to go to the ER. Although, I have to admit there might occasionally be a hole in my sock. Well, if it's on the bottom, who's gonna see it? Except maybe someone in the ER. Okay, no more socks with holes.]

Note to MSG: Hey sweetie, I really like your blog (sorry, I couldn't resist).

UPDATE: Yes, I'm still alive. I will have a new post sometime this weekend. Thanks for stopping by.

Dr. Doctor

I just read a medblog about how patients and doctors address each other.

I don’t know if it’s where I am from or how I was raised, but there is absolutely no way that I could call a doctor by his or her first name. I cannot even bring myself to call a blogger doctor by his or her blogging name without inserting Dr. in front of it, e.g., Dr. Dinosaur. Mostly, it’s a sign of respect for the person and the profession.

But that’s not the only reason. I don’t want to call my doctor by his first name. To be honest, I don’t even want my doctor to have a first name. I want that person to be a superhero, with no feelings and no faults. That way, there is no possibility of a bad outcome. I’m not being unrealistic, am I?

Cookies for Doctors

I feel like a crumb because I never considered bringing cookies to my doctors as a way of saying "thank you". This post was inspired by EchoDoc. She wrote a great post about one of her partner's ungrateful patients.

I am hoping that I at least told Dr. Gastro and Dr. Jekyll (surgeon) thank you for taking away my pain and jaundice. But I don’t think that I did. I know I gave them the standard polite thank you each time I left the examining room, but I don’t think I ever thanked them specifically for making me feel better. I don’t know if this is because I’m inconsiderate or if I just figured they were doing their job. Maybe it was just my inexperience at being a patient. And I never once considered bringing them baked goods.

I ended up having to stay in the hospital for five days after my chole (something about not letting me go home with a fever). I received excellent care from the nurses, et al. When I finally got sprung, I wanted to do show my appreciation to those that took care of me. I told the nurses, et al. that they could have all of my flower arrangements. They seemed to like that. I also arranged for a friend to bring a humongous bowl of miniature candy bars and other edible goodies for the nurses’ desk. They really seemed to like that.

I did this because everyone that took care of me during those five days seem to go out of their way to be nice to me. I don’t think I would have felt right leaving without doing something special for them.

Which brings me to this. Now I feel like a crumb for not showing more appreciation to my doctors. My family doctor came by my room every day and never billed for it. I hope I told him thank you, but I can’t remember. The next time I see him, I plan on telling him how much I appreciated him stopping by. Because now I realize that he didn't have to.

There is no way I am asking for a “do-over” of the chole. So I’ll just try to be more appreciative next time. I still don’t see myself bringing cookies to a doctor. I guess some people are cookie people and some aren’t.

Crap, Crap, Crap

I finally have some time to write something for my blog and I don’t have a damn thing to say. I hate it when people don’t post regularly and I have become one of those people. Okay, anyone who has me Bloglined knows that I do post, I just pull the posts before anyone gets a chance to read them. Since I'm in the mood to blog, yet have nothing to say, I am going to write about what I have written and rejected as being not blogworthy. Something tells me this is another one of those 3 minute posts, i.e. I publish the post, wait three minutes, then remove it.

Cookies for Doctors -- This post was inspired by something I read on EchoDoc’s blog regarding an ungrateful patient. I wrote about how I felt like I didn’t show enough appreciation to my doctors. You know, some people are cookie people and some aren’t.

Five Pounds – This post didn’t even make it to the “Publish” button. I wrote about how I gained 5 pounds over the holidays and had been walking around hoping that the 5 pounds had been distributed evenly over my 5’7” frame and had not landed all on my ass. The point of the post was that last week I was back down to my fighting weight, yet no one had mentioned it. No one except a U.S. Marshall at the Federal Courthouse that I only see maybe once a week. I know, poor, poor pitiful me.

Men and Cabinet Doors – Another post that didn’t make it to “Publish”. This was a work rant asking why can't men ever close a cabinet (or closet or any other kind of) door. And why do they leave their Styrofoam coffee cups on the counter instead of just turning their lazy ass around and dropping it in the garbage can. They are standing right next to it!!!

Poop, Pus, Pee and Barf – Post where I attempt to answer the occasional question: Well, MA, if you’re so interested in all things medical, why don’t you get a job in the healthcare industry? (And no, you perv, I don’t have a “thing” for doctors, although I must say y’all look mighty cute in your scrubs.)

The Perfect Patient—After reading the medblogs, I learned that doctors don’t like all of their patients. Probably naïve of me to think that they did, but naïve is my middle name. Anyway, the competitor in me makes me want to be the perfect patient. So I wrote about the posts I had read and whether I was, or was not, the perfect patient. This post has some promise and I may actually do a little tweaking and publish it.

Where are all of the Funny Medblogs? – I wrote this when it seemed like every medblog I read was either serious, whiny, or sad and depressing. But then, that was my mood at the time, so I figured it was just the medblogs I was choosing to read. The last thing I want to do is be critical of other people's blogs when, well, look at this post.

Recipes and Medblogs—Enough said. Addendum: Recipes and medblogs are two of my favorite things to read. When a medblog includes recipes, I am in hog heaven.

Sorry, Wrong Blog – This was actually two different posts that I withdrew. I am always surprised when my blog comes up when people are googling medical terms. I do have a suggestion if anyone needs a topic to write about. STAPLES OR STITCHES? I get at least 20 hits a day for that question alone. “Atrophied testicle”, “I hate lawyers” and “butt pus” are also very popular. My favorite though was “nurse prostate nude stirrups”.

Request for Lawyer Jokes--I know. I was really, really struggling when I wrote this one. Although that post did start off with a great doctor/golf joke. I am considering posting a new lawyer joke on my sidebar everyday. Then I won't feel so guilty about people stopping by when I haven't posted anything new.

Hey Scalpel, It’s Snowing!—The title says it all; there is no accompanying post. We came close, but I was never able to hit the “Publish” button for this one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. DINO!