Lottery Fun

Dr. Shroom, I don't speak British, so can you translate this for me and tell me how much I have won in real money (you know, U.S. dollars)? I need to be sure it's enough to live on before I leave the boyfriend and quit my job.

Dear Lucky Winner,
WINNING NOTIFICATION

We happily announce to you the draw of the silver lottery programs held on this month. That your email address as indicated was drawn and attached to ticket number 0086955827499 with serial numbers BTD/0070648302/07 and drew the lucky winning numbers 14-31-30-39-40-47(30), which subsequently won you the lottery in the 5th Category? You have therefore been approved to Claim a total sum of BP 1,000.000{ONE MILLION BRITISH POUNDS STERLING} in cash credited to file REF NO. : BTD/969/08

This is from a total cash prize of GBP £16,000,000(SIXTEEN MILLION BRITISH POUNDS STERLING) shared amongst the first fourteen(14) lucky winners in this category. All participants were selected randomly from Worldwide Web site through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 email addresses of companies and Individuals. This promotion takes place annually.

Please note that you’re lucky winning number fall within our European booklet representative office in Europe As indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, Your GBP £1, 000,000 {ONE MILLION BRITISH POUNDS STERLING) would be released to you by our payment office in Europe. Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him. Your prize award has been insured in your names and ready for claim. To begin your claims therefore, you are advised on final notice and as a matter of urgency, to contact our licensed and accredited Claim agent for Overseas Lottery Winners for the Processing of your prize awards winning and Payment To your designated bank account after all statutory Obligations have been concluded satisfactorily.

You are advised to contact your fiduciary agent with the following details to avoid unnecessary delays and complications:

1.your full names
2.sex
3.your address
4.your country
5.nationality
6.your fax
7.home phone number
8.mobile phone number
9.occupation
10.your age.
11.your batch number
12.your ref:number.
13.your lucky winning number
14.Your bank detail for transfer

Due to mixed up in some numbers and names and for the purpose of confidentiality, be advised to keep this award notification as secret from public notice until your claim has been processed and your prize money remitted to your designated bank account as this is part of precautionary measures to avoid double claim or misuse of this program by some social miscreants. Hence, your prize award winning is confidential as our winners are at liberty to remain completely anonymous until payment is effected. Congratulations once more from all members and staff of this program. Thank you for being part of our promotional lottery program.

I know, everyone gets these, but this one has to be legit. These people want to protect me from the "social miscreants" out there who might want to take advantage of me.