I have a confession. I never go to the doctor. If I don't feel good, I Google my symptoms, prescribe an Advil for myself, and I am cured. No big deal. Now I don't even have to leave the house to get my brain scanned. I can do it myself over the Internet.
[Hmmm, I wonder if I took my brainscan to the ER, I could get some of the "good" stuff they are always writing about. It's not like they would have to spend a lot of time and money examining me. I've already done the hard part. I just show up with my brainscan, they take one look at it, see I'm obviously in need of pain meds for my headache. . . ]