We have a client who owns a business in a very litigious industry. He has more money than he knows what to do with and isn't afraid to back down from a fight when threatened with legal action. He's also a sexist asshole. And a good buddy of Senior Partner. I try to avoid Mr. Client, but he likes me to work on his cases because I “really know how to write a classy ‘fuck you’ letter”. Before you start thinking conceited, braggart, etc., hear me out. Mr. Client doesn’t attribute these letters to my skills as a lawyer. He thinks I excel at writing these letters because I am a woman, you know, vindictive, mean, spiteful, vengeful, malicious. And he’s not joking when he says it, which is every time he comes into the office.
So, here’s a letter I drafted after you left my office today Mr. C.
Dear Mr. Client:
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.
M. B. Addict
How’s that for classy?
[hmmm...maybe he was right]
Happy Birthday Elvis
(Yes, this is my original post. It's my blog and I can change my mind if I want to. After all, that's what women do, right?)