From the Legal Briefs section of The Daily News:
Trial will begin next week in the legal malpractice action against non-prominent attorney Medblog Addict. Ms. Addict is accused of attorney negligence. The Plaintiff in the case, I. M. Hertz, alleges Ms. Addict missed several court dates and filing deadlines, and failed to return his phone calls. Colleagues say they became worried about Ms. Addict after watching her giggling, blushing and laughing out loud in Court. The Plaintiff alleges Ms. Addict routinely brought inappropriate material into the courtroom to read while waiting for her cases to be called.
Of particular interest in this case will be the effect that Ms. Addict’s blog has on the jury. A blog is a type of online diary. During her deposition, it was discovered that Ms. Addict maintained a blog called “Addicted to Medblogs”. The blog is now covered under a protective order of the Court and is no longer available for public view, but it’s been rumored that the blog contains a confession by Ms. Addict that she drilled peep holes in the walls of emergency rooms, operating rooms and doctors’ offices just so she could get a glimpse into the mysterious world of medicine, and perhaps find a few cheap thrills. (Just Google “Addicted to Medblogs”. You can’t hide anything nowadays. Every disgusting post is out there somewhere on the Internet. It appears Ms. Addict also has some kind of scrub fetish.--Editor)
Ms. Addict is acting as her own counsel. She was fired from her job at Dewey Cheatem & Howe after her blog was revealed. It seems Jr. Partner’s valedictorian son was kicked out of his prestigious prep school after school officials read Ms. Addict’s blog and discovered that Jr. Partner and Ms. Addict had been doing little JP Jr.’s homework for the past few years. When asked how the prestigious prep school learned of Ms. Addict’s blog, Senior Partner said that the school had received a copy in the mail from an "anonymous" concerned citizen. Coincidentally, Senior Partner’s son will graduate as class valedictorian from the prestigious prep school, now that JP Jr. has been expelled.
We tracked down Ms. Addict at her new place of employment and asked her if she thought representing herself in this case was a wise decision. Ms. Addict said, “Probably not, but geez, who can afford to pay some obnoxious bastard $500/hour just to push some papers around on his desk and make a few phone calls. You know, lawyers will bill you .2 hours just for leaving a message on your answering machine telling you they called. I got mani/pedi bills to pay, I can’t afford no stinking legal bills. Now, would you like fries with that burger? Hey, if you write something nice about me, I’ll throw in a free fried pie.”
Next week: Part II - The Trial
Trial will begin next week in the legal malpractice action against non-prominent attorney Medblog Addict. Ms. Addict is accused of attorney negligence. The Plaintiff in the case, I. M. Hertz, alleges Ms. Addict missed several court dates and filing deadlines, and failed to return his phone calls. Colleagues say they became worried about Ms. Addict after watching her giggling, blushing and laughing out loud in Court. The Plaintiff alleges Ms. Addict routinely brought inappropriate material into the courtroom to read while waiting for her cases to be called.
Of particular interest in this case will be the effect that Ms. Addict’s blog has on the jury. A blog is a type of online diary. During her deposition, it was discovered that Ms. Addict maintained a blog called “Addicted to Medblogs”. The blog is now covered under a protective order of the Court and is no longer available for public view, but it’s been rumored that the blog contains a confession by Ms. Addict that she drilled peep holes in the walls of emergency rooms, operating rooms and doctors’ offices just so she could get a glimpse into the mysterious world of medicine, and perhaps find a few cheap thrills. (Just Google “Addicted to Medblogs”. You can’t hide anything nowadays. Every disgusting post is out there somewhere on the Internet. It appears Ms. Addict also has some kind of scrub fetish.--Editor)
Ms. Addict is acting as her own counsel. She was fired from her job at Dewey Cheatem & Howe after her blog was revealed. It seems Jr. Partner’s valedictorian son was kicked out of his prestigious prep school after school officials read Ms. Addict’s blog and discovered that Jr. Partner and Ms. Addict had been doing little JP Jr.’s homework for the past few years. When asked how the prestigious prep school learned of Ms. Addict’s blog, Senior Partner said that the school had received a copy in the mail from an "anonymous" concerned citizen. Coincidentally, Senior Partner’s son will graduate as class valedictorian from the prestigious prep school, now that JP Jr. has been expelled.
We tracked down Ms. Addict at her new place of employment and asked her if she thought representing herself in this case was a wise decision. Ms. Addict said, “Probably not, but geez, who can afford to pay some obnoxious bastard $500/hour just to push some papers around on his desk and make a few phone calls. You know, lawyers will bill you .2 hours just for leaving a message on your answering machine telling you they called. I got mani/pedi bills to pay, I can’t afford no stinking legal bills. Now, would you like fries with that burger? Hey, if you write something nice about me, I’ll throw in a free fried pie.”
Next week: Part II - The Trial
9 comments:
Okay, I had a literal "giggle-choke" when you mentioned billable hours.
I mentioned I was a legal secretary? Yeah, I think I did. Please note the past tense.
Problem was that even though I was "billable", I had no target because I also did the scheduling at Big Law Firm.
You can't bill scheduling. Not for free consults.
Sadly, this also affects your bonus, because bonuses are based on (ready?) your BILLABLE HOURS.
Gods, I love architecture.
Hey MA
Longtime no jib; just dropping by to wish ye top o' the morning.
S
Excellent MA - excellent! ready and waiting for part 2. :)
I have a business card with Dewey, Cheatem and Howe. ;)
Amanda--billable hours suck. LOL
Schroom--glad you stopped by to say hi. hope things are going better for you in your new job.
Seaspray--thank you. i'm not sure there will be a part 2...i'm trying to post more frequently, so i'm trying out some different types of posts. don't know if this worked, so i might just go back to the usual stuff.
Whaddya mean "posting the ususal stuff"?? You have my appetite appropriately whetted, now you must tell the rest.
Um...whatsa fried pie?
Keep goin' . . . ;o) And where is Mr. June? Promises, promises . . .
DP--read the fine print--Friday, June 8. I think I may be able to post a real life candid shot. Depends on whether the restraining order gets lifted in time.
Lynn-apparently big time award winning authors don't eat at McDonalds.
"Lynn-apparently big time award winning authors don't eat at McDonalds."
Smart ass!
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