Cat Scan

Last night my husband walked in on me while I was trying to scan our cat.

I thought it would be fun to send it here.

Nobody understands me :(

Santa Porn



Really? Santa porn? At 2:15 in the afternoon? Somebody's not getting any gifts this year. Well, maybe if Santa... NO! Santa porn is just wrong. With a capital W. 

ER Doc Convention

 It’s a major holiday, so time for a new blog post.

A while back, some blogging ER docs went to an ER doctor convention in Denver. Sounds like it would be a lot of fun, huh? Drunken tweets, NSFW pics, etc. So I monitored their tweets. Oh so many boring tweets—hundreds, maybe thousands or even millions of boring tweets. blah blah blah factor VIIas 10k for a 70kg pt blah blah blah 124k STEMI pts w CABG capability did cath then CABG 3%, without very rare. CABG grps blah blah blah 1,228 acute scrotii showed +creamasteric reflex w dxd torsion kids: can have asymptotic bacteruria and have a viral illnesses blah blah blah use a bougie after ett fail 1 and LMA after fail 2, cric if LMA fail, then BINGO a picture!:

 I love this picture.  Five blogging ER docs.  Can you identify the two calendar docs?

 Y’all have a Happy Thanksgiving.

 

*I know I need a photo credit, but I don't know who took the picture.  I was gonna say GruntDoc, but he's in the picture.  So, to spice up this story, let's just say that the five blogging ER docs hired a hooker to take this picture of them.

I Dream of TBTAM

Normally, I don't talk about my dreams. I think dreams are boring to everyone except the person who had the dream.  However, I'm making an exception tonight and telling everyone about the dream I had last night.  One, because the dream was about a medblogger, and two, because it is just damn freaky. Maybe it would make more sense if I had spent the night reading medblogs, but all I did last night was watch Leave it to Beaver.

Here's the dream:

I am a boarder in this beautiful house.  The house is bright and sunny.  My room is gorgeous, filled with fresh flowers. Everything is white.  I wake up and smell cigar smoke.  I go across the hall, and TBTAM is sitting in a rocking chair smoking a cigar. 

Then I wake up.   Freaky, huh?

The Bunnies are Back

I just realized that I blog like I go to church -- only on major holidays.  But the best part of having my blog is posting the bunny cartoon every Easter.  These bunnies never fail to make me smile.

Happy Easter.

I have to start blogging more.  I don't even recognize Blogger anymore.  I'm just going to type, push "Publish" and hope for the best.

Merry Christmas!

I hope Santa brings you everything you asked for.

Spiders and Scrubs

I feel like the people down the block who still have their Christmas lights up.   I need a post to get rid of the Easter bunnies. I have a couple of blog post ideas rattling around in my head (one on the latest Medtweep/Twitter scandal), but no time.  So, I'm just going to write about what's on my mind right now. 

First, that commercial where the lady sees a picture of a spider on a cell phone and starts screaming was funny once.  Maybe twice.   Please. No more.  I'll buy your damn phone if you will just stop running that commercial. 

Next topic.  I once read that the reason doctors (both men and women) on television look so attractive in their scrubs is because the scrubs are tailor made for the actors.  Which got me to thinking.  If I had to wear scrubs to work everyday, would I have them tailor made?  Or would I buy them  "off the rack," then have them altered?  Or would I just throw them on, hoping they were clean?   Next question is why would I give this so much thought when I will never have a job that requires me to wear scrubs. Dunno. Just goofy I guess.

Bunnies

I know, I say it every year.  I love these bunnies.  Hope y'all have a lovely Easter.

Yet Another "I'm Not Dead" Post

The last time I posted here, I told myself I was never going to write another post about how I wasn't dead, and how I missed my blog but didn't have time, blah blah blah.  I was just going to post without apology or explanation. And I really meant it. But yet again, I want to start with a public apology to the people who left comments that I never published. That's just rude of me. I'm sorry. 

While I'm here, I think it's about time I changed from fall colors to something springish.

And here is a funny Angry Bird cartoon I ran across, just to make me feel better about writing another "I'm Not Dead" blog post.

Ok, dammit. I know it isn't that funny unless you're addicted to Angry Birds. But it was either this or go to the back of my blog closet and pull out one of my old videos. Hmmm. It's been awhile. Maybe I can get by with posting my favorite old videos. I mean, I will enjoy watching them again. And what's so bad about posting the same crap over and over if its funny crap. So here's one.  Worn, but still funny. 

Where Pumpkin Pie Comes From

The Eatin' Season has officially begun. I can already feel my jeans starting to get tighter.

3,2,1 Aww Heck

So much for my Halloween countdown. That's okay. I'll just throw all the Halloween crap on this one post. Y'all be careful out there.







HolyKaw

Countdown to Halloween - Day 4

Countdown to Halloween - Day 5

That looks like me -- after a Halloween party during my freshman year in college.

Countdown to Halloween - Day 6 - Scariest Costume Ever

FoxTrot by Bill Amend "For non-commercial websites, I’m generally okay with people reposting a strip now and then, so long as you include a link back to foxtrot.com." Glad to do it.

Gummi Bear Train of Thought

1. I saw this video on "Movin' Meat".

2. While watching the Gummi Bear video, I thought about the cute Gummi Bear posters I saw a few years back.

3. Seeing the "where Gummi Bears come from" poster made me think of this.

4. In the car, on the way to CVS to buy a bag of Gummi Bears, I thought about what else I could buy at CVS so it didn't look like I was making a special trip just for Gummi Bears. So I also bought a bag of sour Gummi worms and some feminine hygiene products.

5. A little while later, I was thinking about how I wished I had remembered what happens when I eat too many Gummi products in one day.

6. When I felt a little better, I thought about how I might make this a blog post since I accidently posted my "Countdown to Halloween" post last night.

7. While writing this post, I'm thinking how it looks a little funny that I made a special trip to CVS for Gummi Bears after seeing pictures of Gummi Bears having sex.

8. Now I'm thinking I still feel a little barfy from eating all of those damn Gummi critters.

Countdown to Halloween - Day 7

I decided that if I was going to get back into blogging, I'd need a theme. Something original like, um, Countdown to Halloween!

Halloween always reminds me of this religious family that lived down the street from us when I was growing up. There were five children in the family, and they were not allowed to participate in anything related to Halloween. They always wanted to eat my Halloween candy, but of course I didn't let them. There was no way I was going to Hell for feeding religious kids my Halloween candy. Their parents always brought "spicy" eggs to neighborhood gatherings. They were really deviled eggs, but we weren't supposed to call them that. It didn't really matter because when I was a kid, I thought deviled eggs sucked. Now I can eat a dozen of them in one sitting.

Countdown to Halloween -- Day 7

Sears has gone to the zombies. Check it out.





[Dammit! This was supposed to post at 6:00 a.m. on Monday. I guess that's what happens when you don't blog for three months. You forget how to do things. And when did Blogger start showing stats? What else have I been missing out on?]

Countdown to Halloween - Day 5

That looks like me -- after a Halloween party during my freshman year in college.

Three Months!

You know, I write blog posts in my head all of the time. I just can't seem to sit my ass down in front of my computer and write them out.

And I write really great stuff in my head. Like my posts on "Suicidal Squirrels", and "How I Could Never Be a Doctor Because Sick People Irritate Me", and "Learn How to Drive You Stupid Bitch".

I may not be writing much right now, but I still keep up with all of y'all in my Google Reader.

Now a big public apology to Amanda. The one person I can always count on to leave a comment, and I wait TWO MONTHS before I publish her comment!!! Maybe I'm just jealous because you are so disciplined and have lost all that weight.

Hmm. I've forgotten how fun it is to write for my blog. I'll have to do this more often.

The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

A while back, I was trying to figure out a way to post multi-page documents on my blog. Still haven't figured it out, but I realized that my little practice project has developed into a mini-series. Y'all have seen the Good (and here). The Bad. Here's the Ugly*:


Denied for Incomprehensibility (OUCH!)

Asinine Tripe





* These are public documents but I redacted them to protect the innocent and the not so innocent.

Purple

In case you hadn't noticed, I now have a purple blog.

I've never been a big fan of purple. When I was growing up, some of the big kids told me there was a serial killer in the neighborhood who only killed girls wearing purple. Scared the crap out of me.