As you know, I am your most ardent fan. (I was going to say biggest fan, but I am afraid S.Cat and/or Etotheipi will call me fat.) And don’t tell Dr. X this, but you are my favorite MDOD doc. Right now, I’m sensing you are a little dissatisfied with your current job situation. Okay, a lot dissatisfied. I can tell this because all of your posts are spattered with the words “douchebags” “fucksticks” and “pussies.” Not that there's anything wrong with that. I hate to see you so frustrated, therefore, I have tried to come up with some career alternatives for you.
You’ve mentioned several times on your blog that you want to open a hot dog cart. Well, "wienie man" sounds good and I'm sure it's a nice career, but I just don’t see you making a lot of money at it. I mean, you’re a doctor, you’re going to need something that will allow you to stay current on the payments on your mansion, country home, his and hers Mercedes, yacht, RV, airplane, helicopter, race horses, and whatever else you rich doctors own. (I read the comments on KevinMD; I know you doctors possess all of these things.) After giving it some thought, I came up with a couple of alternatives that you might want to consider:
If you insist on having the hot dog stand, you should consider selling something else in addition to the dogs. Maybe T-shirts:
ER Valet Parking Mogul
I really got this idea from a comment THW left on my blog. He thinks ER’s need valet parking. I think that is a great idea. You can open up valet parking stands at ER’s all over the country. Maybe franchise it. Of course, I was planning on doing that, but since it’s you, I’ll let you have the idea (for a small percentage of the profits, of course).
Somehow, I don’t really see you trading in your scrubs for a valet parking uniform. Although, hiring hot guys in scrubs as valet parking attendants might not be such a bad idea. (I could take care of the interviews for you, you know, just to help you out.)
“Throw Down” Finger Man
Here’s another alternative. We get your buddy, Etotheipi, to supply us with fingers, toes, etc., whatever he has a surplus of that day. Then you travel all around the country, eating at fine restaurants and “finding” fingers, etc. in your food. I’ll swoop in and represent you, threatening to call Eyewitness News if they don’t hand over a big chunk of change to keep your mouth shut about their finger-licious food. Of course there will be a confidentiality agreement so we won't have to worry about word getting out about the "finger man". There is another benefit to this -- you will probably get to continue to practice emergency medicine. Something tells me things can get ugly quick after seeing someone pull a severed finger out of a bowl of soup.
If Etotheipi wimps out on the body parts, or gets too greedy, we’ll switch to “throw down” roaches. Probably not as profitable, but that just means you’ll have to work a few extra months. I’ll start researching now to figure out how many fingers and/or roaches we will need before we can both retire.
Let me know what you think.
Very truly yours,
I changed my font at pyzam.com
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