Friday, September 21, 2007

Dr. September is . . . Scalpel

Scalpel or Sword is one of my favorite medblogs. How could it not be? It's full of great ER stories, with an occasional recipe and cat picture thrown in. It's like Scalpel created my fantasy medblog. I became an instant Scalpel fan after reading "Veggie Tales".

Here is our interview:

Q1: How long had you been reading the medblogs before you started Scalpel or Sword? Is this your first blog?

A: About a year or so. GruntDoc was the first medblog I ever read, and I surfed round from his blogroll for a while. This is my first and only blog.

Q2: How would your co-workers describe you?

A: Cool.

Q3: I’ve already decided that if I ever end up in the ER, I’m going to call everyone Scalpel, just in case it happens to be your ER. I don't want to blow your cover, so do you want to give me a code word or phrase that you will use to let me know I stumbled onto the real Scalpel?

A: If you call me Scalpel, I'll reply "well I'm definitely not Movin' Meat."

Q4: So, what do you have against boobs?

A: I'm actually a huge fan. But if a woman thinks I'm looking at her breasts, I'm probably just evaluating her respiratory effort. Observing the chest is an important part of the ABCs. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Q5: You once wrote “I have met professional athletes and multimillionaire CEOs who travel by helicopter, and some local and national political figures and TV newscasters.”

I know you can’t give us any names, but how about providing us with the initials of three or four of these famous people. And maybe tell us what was wrong with them. You don’t have to be specific, just say STD but don’t reveal which one. It’s ok. I only have 15 readers and we’ll never tell.

A: Initials, eh? Alright: M.E., K.L., T.F., R.C., C.C. They just had normal ER stuff: SVT, musculoskeletal injury, syncope, abdominal pain, pneumonia. We're all the same inside. My strangest "celebrity encounter" was this crazy long-haired tattooed guy who claimed he was the guitar player for a famous metal band. He gave me a "backstage pass" which was just a brochure for a nightclub.

Q6: If one of your children wanted to be a doctor, would you be encouraging or discouraging? What if they wanted to be a lawyer? What if they wanted to go to UT? (We know you just want them to be happy, so skip that part and tell us what you really think.)

A: I would be thrilled if they became physicians. That would be four generations in a row for my family. I wouldn't mind if they became attorneys either...I once considered that career myself. I would be much more disappointed if they went to tu (that's what Aggies call the University of Texas). [I’m gonna leave that explanation in, but only because a few of my 15 readers aren’t from Texas]

Q7: Who would win in a mud wrestling match: Monkey Girl or Nurse K?

A: The viewers, of course. I'll be the ring doctor.

Q8: Do you play any musical instruments?

A: I play around with the drums, but I'm just an amateur. One of my friends is an amazing guitarist, and we jam every now and then.

Q9: Describe your fantasy sandwich.

A: First take an inflatable swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding....just kidding. Toasted sourdough with smoked chicken, pastrami, pepper jack cheese, and mustard; a side of Wavy Lays, a couple of dill pickles, and a Dr. Pepper on ice.

Q10. If space aliens came into your ER one night, what conclusions about the human race would they make?

A: I think they would LWBS (leave without being seen), then go back to the mother ship and exterminate us like ants.

Q11: In a post, you asked “Is it still called a ‘haircut’ if it costs $400? Or is there a fancier name for it? For that much money, he should have gotten a happy ending.”

“Happy ending”? Where the heck do you get your hair cut?

A: I cut my own hair. Number 3 on the sides and number 6 or 8 on top. I would never pay someone $400 for something I could do myself for free.

Q12: At what point in life did you decide that you wanted to be a doctor?

A: My dad took me on hospital rounds with him a few times, and I remember the nurses pushed me around in a wheelchair. So it seems like forever.

Q13: We know that between Scalpel or Sword, you would choose Scalpel, but what about:

Carrots or Peas - carrots
Real or Fake - real
Beach or Mountains - beach
Girth or Length - In Texas, you don't have to choose.
Cold Beer or Iced Tea - iced tea
Leno or Letterman - Letterman
Boxers or Briefs - briefs
Cats or Dogs - cats
Pepsi or Coke - Coke
T or A - T
Simpsons or Flintstones - Simpsons
Nuts or No Nuts - no nuts
Top or Bottom - top

Q14: And of course, what color scrubs do you wear to work?

A: Johnny Cash

Picture: This is Scalpel relaxing at home on a day off from the ER.

Photo credit: I don't know where the photo came from. I received it in a funny e-mail from Mom. She would kill me if she knew I told y'all she sent me that picture. As you can see, I chickened out and didn't post the whole picture. Here are the original pictures.


Lynn Price said...

I will freaking NEVER eat a cucumber again.

Doc's Girl said...

:) :) :)

"...probably just evaluating her respiratory effort..."

I'm SO using that line in the future. :-P Another great interview, MA! :) Well done...!

(I think the picture is from an issue of Cosmo or Glamour, by the way.)

make mine trauma said...

Ah, Scalpel, the ER Doc I would most like to meet. Well, I would like to meet 911 Doc but for different reasons.....

look forward to the "undoctored" version of the picture!


Carver said...

Good interview M.A. and Dr. Scalpel. I followed the link and the cucumber tale was certainly unique. I've grown some monster cucumbers but they aren't usually very flavorful when they get as big as what Dr. Scalpel described in the ER emergency. Certainly a novel approach for how to get rid of an old sour cucumber. Yuck.

On a more pleasant topic, I can hardly wait for the unedited version of the photograph.

Mother Jones RN said...

What a great interview! Thanks for putting it together and posting it on your blog. I've just learned a lot about one of my favorite doctors.


jmb said...

Each month this calendar gets better and better. How can you top this month MBA? I can't believe you haven't had offers to have your own TV show, since you are such a skillful interviewer.

We all wish to thank your mother for providing Scalpel's very fine body image. I'm sure he's very pleased with it, as we are with his answers to your probing questions. Have you thought of being a lawyer?

Roll on October!


Nurse K said...

Ring doctor Scalpel----I pulled my groin muscle wrestling Monkeygirl! Help! I think I need a thorough exam later tonight.

If your exam takes as long as it should, perhaps a work note as well?


MonkeyGirl said...

I'd prefer Jello. But mud will do.

You rock, MBA.

scalpel said...

Was the chocolate pudding bit too subtle? Sometimes my jokes are only funny to me.

MonkeyGirl said...

Those of us who have brains that work that way thought that it was funny. Subtle is funnier sometimes.

Nurse K said...

Was the chocolate pudding bit too subtle?


I had a smoke after reading it.

Bo... said...

Ooh baby, ooh baby.

911DOC said...

Dear MA,
sorry if this duplicates...

tag! if you've done this before please ignore. if not, have at it. thanks for the pictures of scalpel, he's sooo hot. who knew?

The rules:
1. Post these rules before you give your facts.
2. List 8 random facts about yourself.
3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) 8 people and list their names, linking to them.
4. Leave a comment on their blog, letting them know they've been tagged.

Medblog Addict said...

Thanks for stopping by. I love y’alls comments. This has been one hellacious last 10 days at work, so reading the comments has been one of the highlights of my days (that, and checking Sitemeter because Scalpel linked me).

Scalpel, the sandwich comment was perfect and made me giggle when I first read it.

I have to admit I was a little nervous on this post because Scalpel was the first doctor that I hadn’t chatted with via e-mail or comments prior to doing the interview. I wasn’t sure how far I could go in my questions. Then there was the anxiety about what to do about the picture…

Monkey Girl, I gave a lot of thought to the mud wrestling question. I considered both jello and pudding, but decided on mud because I thought it provided a better mental picture. But now that I discovered how to do those Blogger polls, I’m going to leave it to the voters.

911 Doc, I've done the 8 random facts meme before, but since I can't seem to think of anything else to write about, I might just do it again.

Oh yeah, Scalpel. I forgot to ask. Any tattoos or piercings?

Liz said...

I saw those pics in Glamour or Cosmo or something one summer. The article was called Naked Chef or something. Anyway, i think that you made the picture look DIRTIER by censoring it. Before, he was pouring oil on a salad or food or something... now, what is he pouring the oil on???? One can only imagine.. hahaha

Medblog Addict said...

Liz, I was hoping no one would notice that. I think I need to get some photo tips from Carver and JMB before I post Dr. October. Maybe consult with D's Girl and MMT and BRN, etc. on the photo selection process.

Hey, ATM made it into Grand Rounds. I don't know how that happened, but thanks!

SeaSpray said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
scalpel said...

No tats, but I pierced my own left earlobe using a sewing needle and the reflection from a microwave oven when I was 15. The hole's closed up by now.

In college I rode a black motorcycle with black leather boots, black jeans, a black leather jacket, and a dangling silver dagger earring.

SeaSpray said...

Hey MBA and Scalpel- fun interview!

Scalpel...actually, that IS exactly how I picture you, except as a scalpel totin, cowboy Doc in blue scrubs, sans oil and slightly more mature looking.

But..this image will just have to suffice..(sigh) After about the 20th peek I've managed to force myself to enjoy it. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! ;)

I was wondering about the oil too? I mean remove the veggies and what were you doing it a secret recipe? ;)

"First take an inflatable swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding....just kidding." -you know...there IS an element of truth to all humor! ;)