Stupid Timekillers

My Fortune Cookie told me:
It is time to bring the bacon in from the cold.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune ">



I won't even say how much time I just wasted playing this stupid game.

Amanda Gets Meme’d

As promised, as payback for questioning my womanhood, I am tagging Amanda with every meme that I see. The first meme will be the Eight Things meme that Not Nurse Ratched tagged me with. (I am attending nursing school vicariously through NNR. What's funny is, when the experienced nurses leave advice for NNR, I read every word, just like I am going to need it the next day in class).

I’ve already done this Eight Things meme before, but since I don’t have anything else to write about, I am going to do it again. I’m adding a twist, though. I can’t recall where I first saw this, but one of the eight things listed is false. Which one?

1. I am in love with two men.

2. I love trashy television shows. I stopped watching/recording shows like Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, ER, etc. because of a lack of time, yet I haven’t missed an episode of Big Brother this summer. I am also watching Rock of Love on VH-1, where slutty girls are competing to be Bret Michaels’ girlfriend. I love Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen and I can’t wait for Project Runway to begin. I have never seen an episode of American Idol, but was almost involved in a lawsuit against the production company, etc. I also watch As the World Turns, but it’s recorded and I’m only on May, so don’t tell me what has been going on. I also watch QVC (shopping channel).

3. In college, I won a drinking contest involving beer and tequila. Afterwards, I immediately puked my guts out in the ladies’ room, my date holding my hair back the whole time. Funny, he said he would call me the next day, but it’s been years and I still haven’t heard from him.

4. In my short career as a lawyer, I have made two people cry in court. The most recent occurrence happening last week. I have mixed feelings about being a lawyer, which may explain why I felt nothing when the man started crying, but I felt sickened when my boss and my fellow associates gave me a hero’s welcome when I returned to the office (two lawyers who were in the courtroom when it happened called my boss to tell him about it). One day I will have to write about how it feels to be the only woman lawyer in a firm of 15 lawyers.

5. I keep an extra suit in my office because (i) I may end up having to go to Court on a day when I am wearing jeans; and (ii) no matter how careful I am, I am always dropping food down the front of my shirt, dress, etc. and may need to change clothes. Which leads me to this next thing: I hate it when men are talking to me and I see their eyes wander down to my boobs. I immediately look down, thinking they are looking at something I have spilled on my shirt.

6. My five-year old nephew has been to more foreign countries than I have. He always brings me back a souvenir, usually something he likes and won’t let me play with.

7. I have never seen the movie “Gone With the Wind”.

8. I am one of those people who never make up their beds. I live with a man who cannot leave the house with the bed unmade. I have actually seen him make up the bed in a hotel room before we left. That’s just twisted.

Okay, Amanda, get busy. List 8 things about you, one of which is false. I won’t tag anyone else, I will just call for volunteers (and no, leaving a comment does not mean you are volunteering). Let me know if you do the meme, and I will link you. I’m sure my other 14 readers would like to see what you have to say.

Oh yeah, “Amanda Gets Meme’d” will be a regular Monday post. If I can’t find a meme, I will make one up for her (and any volunteers).

Update: Amanda has completed Meme #1. And thanks to Doc's Girl for volunteering. Great job, girls. Volunteers are still being accepted.

Cell Phone Karma

Dr. August is . . . #1 Dinosaur

Dr. Dino was one of the first medbloggers to link to Addicted to Medblogs. A link from Musings of a Dinosaur meant that people might actually start reading what I wrote—and that scared the crap out of me. I sent Dino an e-mail saying I didn’t know whether to say “thank you for the link” or “screw you for ruining my life.” Thus began my blogging relationship with Dino. In the beginning, I would ask Dino’s opinion about one of my posts and Dino would e-mail back with encouragement and praise. Now (at my request) Dino responds by telling me to get over myself and just publish the damn post. Of course, I asked for Dino’s opinion when I first considered doing the Calendar Doc posts.

Here’s our interview:


Q1: Every time I look at your Avatar, I picture you as a cranky old man. Are you a cranky old man?

A1: I'd say yes to two out of three on that one.

Q2: Name three medbloggers that you would want to be stranded on a deserted island with.

A2: I have to pick only three? Now that's tough. I've made a lot of friends since starting this whole blog thing. I'd start with Dr. Dork; I haven't seen him since he dropped out of sight -- er, made his blog invitation only (and won't respond to my request to be invited), so we'd have a lot of catching up to do. Besides, as an Aussie, he talks funny, which would be entertaining. Second, I'd take Lynn Price, because as a Reiki master she could communicate with other Rieki masters regardless of distance and call a boat to come rescue us when we're done chitchatting (and catching up with Dr. Dork.) Finally, I'd invite the Tundra PA, as long as it was the depths of winter. I'm sure she'd enjoy a little break from the frigid tundra, especially if it was a nice deserted island in the Caribbean someplace.

Q3: Tell us how you felt on your first day of that weird class, you know, the one where you learn to cut up dead people. [feel free to revise this if i am being insensitive--MA] [no problem; insensitivity is part of your charm--Dino]

A3: I thought, "Damn, this place smells really bad." Also, cut muscle looks a lot like chicken, so I lost my appetite for chicken, at least until Gross Anatomy was over.

Q4: In one of your posts you wrote:

. . . I gained a passing familiarity with other staples of cable, including my spouse's favorite: Food Network. . . . and the Iron Chefs (both American and Japanese; our favorite pastime is making up and lip-synching our own X-rated commentary on the latter) are now familiar personages to me, as is the format of watching professional cookery in progress. (emphasis added)

Give us an example of that Iron Chef “X-rated commentary.”

A4: Favorite spoof theme ingredient: "Battle....BULL NUTS!" Sample commentary: (twittery Japanese actress): Oh, I can just feel my nipples standing up against this tight silk blouse.

Q5: Where did you go to med school?

A5: University of California, La Brea Medical School.

Q6: I read where medical students get the diseases they are learning about. Tell me about all of the diseases you “experienced” in medical school.

A6: While I was in med school I had appendicitis several times, a few brain tumors, and terminal carpal tunnel syndrome.

Q7: Your father is a lawyer. Did you give any thought to going to law school?

A7: No. Despite what he would tell you, I don't enjoy arguing as much as he does.

Q8: Death row inmates get to choose their last meal before being executed. What would your last meal consist of?

A8: My last meal would be a very rare filet mignon (take the meat to the grill, let it see the flame for a few seconds, then bring it to me); two lobsters (with drawn butter of course), a Caesar salad from California Pizza Kitchen, and one pound of Godiva chocolate (dark, of course.)

Q9: How did you discover the medblogs? What was the first medblog you ever read?

A9: I've been blogging for almost exactly one year, and at this point I can honestly reply that -- for the life of me -- I can't remember how I got started, much less who I read first. It must be that age-related memory thing. [I think Dr. Dino is purposely avoiding answering this question, which can only mean one thing: Dino was Googling porn and ended up at Fingers and Tubes in Every Orifice! MA]

Q10: Obviously, from your picture, you prefer blue scrubs. Are you hiding any tattoos or piercings under those scrubs?

A10: Who wants to know? And if I show mine, will they show me theirs?

Q11: You seem to have a habit of taking new bloggers under your wing. Am I the only blogger who still e-mails you on a regular basis asking for your opinion on a post that I am about to publish, or asking you if something I've written is offensive?

A11: I don't know about taking new bloggers under my wing (pterodactyl wings are pretty flimsy; not much room) but there are several bloggers I'm friends with and email with regularly "off the blogs."

Q12: Speaking of my insecurities. Why am I so insecure with my blogging? And what is this thing on my arm? Is this skin cancer? Why does my leg hurt when I do this? Does this look swollen to you? I burp a lot, why is that? Assuming dinosaurs party, are you inundated with health related questions when people find out that you are a physician? Do you ever hesitate telling people what you do for a living?

A12: I haven't a clue; a spider bite; not yet; because it doesn't bend that way; yes; because you talk too much; we do; yes; no.

Q13: It might surprise my readers to learn that you talk like a sailor. Where did you learn to swear like that?

A13: How the #$%^$#@ do you expect me to answer that #$%&%$@# question!

Photo: Dino at work (no matter how much I begged, Dino refused to take off the scrub top--my guess is tattoos, lots and lots of tattoos).

Photo credit: Google images (that's all the info I have)

Calendar Doc Update and Hint

Finally, Dr. August will be revealed tomorrow. Hint: This blog author accused me and another blogger of causing damage to a certain piece of personal property, and then insisted that we pay for its replacement.

I've been thinking about doing a special edition Nurses calendar and maybe a Medstudents calendar for end of the year posts. What do you think? Too much calendar stuff? It's not like I am trying to avoid coming up with new ideas for posts, or anything. Well, maybe I am, but I've got nothin' else to write about, unless you want to hear me whine about work.

Okay, time for me to start gathering up my courage to e-mail Dr. September. Gees, I hope he doesn't bite.

Miscellaneous Blog Matters

I haven’t had much time to take care of blog matters lately, so this post is dedicated to blog housekeeping. Well, mostly it’s just me patting myself on the back.

Thank You Notes

I’m a little late with these thank you notes.

After about nine months of blogging, I finally received one of those blogging awards. Amanda at Its All About the Walls awarded me the Rockin' Girl Blogger award and SeaSpray at It’s a Wonderful Life awarded me the Rockin Blogger Award. Thank you ladies. Seasprout is so sweet and she wrote some really nice things about me. Amanda, well, she just questioned whether I was really a woman. That’s okay, Amanda, I don’t hold grudges. Just be prepared to be tagged with every meme I come across during my travels through the blogosphere.

And thanks to Patient Anonymous and Dr. Dino for awarding me the Schmooze Award. Receiving this award was really a pleasant surprise. I didn't think that lurkers were eligible to be schmoozers. If not for Dr. Dino, I would only have 5 readers instead of my current readership of 15. PA has been around from almost the beginning and leaves funny comments whenever she drops by. Thank you both.

My Blog is Unusual

Since I am singing my own praises tonight, I’ll go ahead and tell y’all about how ATM was linked by Readers and Writers Blog, a blog described as “a nonprofit website intended to give writers a place to publish their work at no cost and readers a chance to read that work and, if they choose, to comment on it. We also seek out well-written sites and post them on our blogroll” (emphasis added).

Now don’t go getting all excited for me. ATM wasn’t added to the blogroll, it was just linked because the blog author thought it was unusual:

By the way, one of the more unusual sites I found on the Bohemian road nurse’s blogroll was Addicted to Medblogs, whose author describes herself as “a bored attorney who spends too much time reading (medical blogs) at work.”

I certainly can’t argue with that. Thank you for the mention.

Blog That Made Me Laugh Out Loud At Work

To be honest, I never paid much attention to the pharmacist behind the counter, but now I feel kind of funny each time I walk by. I’ll warn you now, if you are sensitive or lack a sense of humor, avoid FastFoodPharmacy. It has become my “go to” medblog when I get tired of my own bitching and want to read someone else’s bitching. And I mean that in the nicest way.

Calendar Doc Update

I promise it will be up next week. I just haven't had time to work on it much lately.

As always, thank y'all for stopping by.

Note to JMB: I didn't delete this one on purpose. I tried to get technical and put those Rockin Blogger pics in the post but it came out all wrong. So you didn't really miss anything. I'm just not as good as you and Carver are at fancy picture posting.

Delay of Dr. August

Don't blame me for the delay this time. Dr. August had a sudden case of shyness during the photo shoot and refused to be photographed half nekked. We finally rounded up a pair of scrubs, and it turns out, Dr. August looks a whole lot cuter wearing the scrubs. I think y'all will agree with me when you see the picture.

Still Here

Still here, but working way too much. I did find time to stock up on some more lawyer jokes.

Yes, there will be a Dr. August, but not until the middle of the month. The hardest part about doing the calendar is getting the courage to send that first e-mail. I know, I know -- doctors don’t bite (although, sometimes I’m not too sure about those ER docs). And no, that’s not an official hint.

Crossing the Line (or you're not getting my Diet Coke)

Study: Diet soda linked to heart risks.

Dammit. You medical types have gone too far now. It took me years to develop a taste for those sweet, delicious, thirst-quenching chemicals. What am I supposed to do now? Drink water? Yeah, right, like that's really going to happen.

Why Are You Making Me Google Hair Apposition Technique? -- Part I

I’ve said it before, I am a comment reader. I read the comment section on every post on every medblog that I visit. There are some funny comments out there, e.g., Shadowfax explaining on Surgeonsblog why he isn’t a surgeon: “But somewhere around Hour 8, I realized that I just did not have the requisite attention span to do this type of thing. I actually caught myself thinking "Fuck it. Let's just close her up and see if she lives." And I knew that surgery was not going to be for me.”

But I’ve been a little disappointed and frustrated lately because y’all have left me hanging on a couple of medblogs. Not enough comments or discussion. I know, I should be grateful that y’all let a nosy layperson like me get a glimpse into your world. I understand you are busy. But you’ve spoiled me. And it's not like I became a medblog addict on my own. You lured me into your world and got me hooked.

Here is an example of what is causing my frustration. On her blog, Dr. Smak sent this question out:

. . . I got an ER report this week of a child with a scalp laceration that was repaired by braiding the hair over it to close the wound. Discharge instructions were "Remove braid in one week."

Is this legit? Is this a bladeless suturing technique that I'm too ignorant to know of? Or are they making this up?

Dr. Smak got two responses that said yes, this is legitimate technique known as hair apposition technique (“HAT”).

Okay, that might be enough for you medical types but I need more. There were no anecdotes or practical advice. There was no discussion on whether anyone actually does this. No one commented on whether this is a viable alternative to stitches or staples or glue. Would this mean you wouldn’t have to shave my head? Does it hurt more or less than the alternatives? What if you don’t braid but someone asked you to. Would you fix the rest of my hair to go with my new braided look? (I'm also curious about the "bladeless" thing, but I'll let that pass as something technical that I wouldn't understand.)

See what I mean? All of these unanswered questions. Y'all need to comment more on each other's blogs (okay, I realize that sounds funny coming from a notorious lurker, but I'm not medical so I have an excuse.) I know I'm asking a lot, but wouldn't you sleep better knowing that your readers got their medical information from you, rather than some quack they Googled up?

Also, when the doctors don't comment, I immediately wonder why and jump to the conclusion that there is some deep, dark reason behind it. Which brings me to Part II (to be posted later this week). I am wondering whether doctors chose not to respond to a question on a resident's blog because of the subject matter, or if they just didn't find it interesting.

(Yes, I realize y'all have lives and I need to get one too, but your medblogs are so informative and entertaining. Right now, my immediate goal is to fight the urge to go to Charity Doc's blog and leave a comment telling him to get off his lazy ass and start blogging again.)

July's Calendar Doc is Dr. Schwab

Dr. Schwab was the first person to read Addicted To Medblogs so he is special to me. But he scared me back then. He still scares me. I've read Dr. Schwab's book* and every single one of the posts on Surgeonsblog, but I still had difficulty coming up with interview questions. I finally threw these questions together and hoped that Dr. Schwab would make them entertaining. And he did.


Q1. What are your some of your favorite blogs to visit?

I'm more likely to be found reading political blogs than medical ones: Huffington Post, Andrew Sullivan, Crooks and Liars. Pharyngula, which still has the occasional really interesting biology/evolution post. Bunch of online newspapers, magazines. I'm a total political junkie, which is causing my ruin. There are lots of medical blogs I read, most of them less than daily; but regularly. I'd say my current blogroll is representative, if not comprehensive.

Q2. What is your favorite post from Surgeonsblog? Your least favorite post?

To answer that, I'd have to scroll through the whole list and do some thinking. If I liked convoluted thought and make-work I'd have been a lawyer... OK, I liked the series about deconstructing an operation, and the one post about the liver. One of the posts I did on anesthesiologists was pretty lame. Bad, actually.

Q3.  Have any of your patients asked you to pray with them before surgery?

Patients have asked me to pray. I've bowed my head and shut up.

Q4. Tell us your favorite dirty joke.

For decades in a little park in the middle of town, two statues stood across from each other: a male and a female in the classic style, barely clothed, beautiful. One day an angel appeared and spoke to them: "You've brought beauty and joy to the people for many years. Now I'll grant you life for four hours as a reward." As they felt their bodies become warm and pliant, they gazed at each other, stepped off their pedestals, moved eagerly across the square with years of pent-up desire pushing them forward; embraced, and disappeared into the underbrush, from which, for the next hours, were heard grunts and groans and the sounds of deep joy. Finally they emerged, spent, and happy, holding hands. The man looked at the woman and said, "I think we have a little more time. Want to do it again?" "Sure," the woman said. "But this time you hold the pigeon and I'll shit on it.

Q5. Any tattoos or piercings?

Scars. A plate and six screws. No tats. I've thought about getting a heart on my shoulder, with the words "Your name here" or "wife."

Q6. This was asked in your comment section a while back, but you never posted a response. Care to answer it now?

“I have never had a doctor do a breast exam while erect. Does it matter? Is it something only surgeons do?”
Some of my patients are very beautiful. Oh, I see what you mean. It referred to the fact that I do breast exams while the woman is lying down, and also sitting up. "Erect and recumbent," is how I'd dictate it. Before you, no one thought it was dirty. But yeah: I think surgeons do better breast exams than other docs. And no, it's not hard. [Just so we're clear on this, I am not the one who asked that question in Dr. Schwab's comment section. But I have to admit I'm the Anonymous who left the comment saying that I thought it was one of the funniest things I had ever read.]
Q7. Sometimes when I read Surgeonsblog, you come across as “Dr. Nice Guy” with your patients. While I’m sure that’s true 99% of the time, I know there has to be a dark side to Dr. Schwab. Tell us about an incident where you regretted your behavior/attitude dealing with a patient.

I'm sure there are some but, at the risk of stretching credulity, they were rare and minor enough that I can't think of any. I'll freely admit, however, that I could be a complete asshole with nurses sometimes. I may have blogged about it, a little. I think I overly-freaked when anything was less than perfect, and at some level saw it as an accusation. The saving grace is that lots of nurses came to me or sent their families when they needed surgery. Still, I wish I'd had the wisdom of my later years in my earlier ones. I could be a jerk, all right.

Q8. You are a writer and a popular medblogger, you must have some groupies. Have you received any “interesting” e-mails? (umm, you know, from anyone else besides me?)

Funny: I went to med school hoping I'd get laid a lot with all those nurses around. I worked days on end at hospitals, meaning nights, too. Can't say it never happened; but not much. Nope, no groupies. Guess I'm not that attractive.

Q9. If you had to give a last minute dinner party for eight, what would be on the menu?

Judy, could you answer this one? No? OK. Last minute is tough. When we've done dinner parties, it's usually a big production: days of planning, going to the Pike Place Market to get fresh stuff. Fish. Maybe butterfly a leg of lamb and grill it. Bernaise. Stuffed artichokes. Fresh blackberry cobbler, vanilla ice cream. Got lots of really good wine at all times, though. If someone dropped in right now, it might be peanut butter, Costco rolls, and a nice Merryvale Profile, '99.

Q10. You and Dr. Dino haven’t been bickering lately. Have y’all called a truce?

Not that I know of. I don't think Dino comes around much anymore. I comment over there now and then. We're sort of alike, actually.

Q11. Did you discuss Flea’s medblog drama with your lawyer brother?

Flea didn't like my book very much. I think surgery is hard for pediatricians to grok. No, I didn't. Should have. He's into multi-billion dollar stuff, though. Heading into a possible 18 month trial, co-counsel with David Boice. He'd probably have said "huh."

Q12. Speaking of lawyers, do you treat them any differently than other patients?

Naw, and I try not to treat doctors/nurses differently, either. Joke about it, maybe, with lawyers. But I can rise above pity. I've had a couple mention, with meaning plastered all over their faces like the final shot in a porno movie, that they do med-mal. Like I'd be impressed or fall all over myself to be nice.

Q13. Ginger or MaryAnn?

Is that a literary reference? I'm a surgeon. I don't read stuff.

Q14. I’ve read that, occasionally, a patient will get amorous while under anesthesia. A “friend” wanted me to ask you this question. What if, right before a patient received her happy drugs, she was thinking about how hot Dr. Gastro looked in his scrubs. Would that have caused her to say/do anything that she might be a little embarrassed about later?

Yes.

Q15. And of course, what color scrubs do you wear?

Boxers.

*Blogger is being a bitch tonight and won't let me add links, but if you like Surgeonsblog, you'll really like Dr. Schwab's book Cutting Remarks.

Photo: Dr. Schwab at work.

Request and Calendar Boy Update

Would the person who found my blog by Googling “how do you write a dirty letter to a sexy man” please bcc me on the letter you end up sending to your sexy man. I can use some new ideas. Thank you.

Calendar boy will be here soon! Well, hopefully before August.

(And I promise, when this latest work project is over and I have more time, I will go back to my medblog addict posts. I will still be writing crap, just a different subject.)

This was way too funny to leave hidden in my comment section (that Dr. Schwab a/k/a reedur can be pretty funny sometimes):

reedur said...

Deer Sexy Man

A loyur told me how to rite this. I lik you a lot. Wen I see yu I'm like your so cool. Yu dont no me butt I hav a rilly gud bode and we cud get it on I hop.

[Offer not valid in Kentucky, some restrictions apply. The preceding should not be construed as an open invitation; offspring issuing from any liason shall be considered sole property of the party of the first part, but implicit financial obligations are not herein or furthermore waived. In case of inability to reach agreement, litigation rather than binding arbitration shall be the avenue of recourse.]

Christmas in July

I'll admit it. This is corny and a way to post without thinking up something new and original. But I really did love reading the responses to the Holiday Meme that went around at Christmas, so I am posting them again. Sadly, I had to remove almost half of the responses because the blog had either shut down or gone private. I would have never thought that Dr. Flea and Barbados Butterfly wouldn't be around in July. And I wasn't completely lazy when preparing this post, I did add a couple of responses that I missed the first time.

Dr. Rob
IslandMedStudent
Dr. Couz
Shadowfax
Dr. Dino
AmbivalentMSILF
Kim at Emergiblog
GruntDoc
Scalpel
Dr.A
Shinga
ThatMedSchoolGuy
Small Town Nurse
Dr. Wes
Stethoscopes and Diapers
Dr. Gwenn
Shrink Rap

Do I Feel Lucky?

Today is being touted as the luckiest day of the century. You're supposed to either get married or buy a lottery ticket. Guess which one I'm going to do.

Do You Really Need a Hint?

Dr. July has been selected. There are still a few unresolved issues regarding interview questions, but negotiations are progressing well and I expect to have the contract signed sometime next week.*


* There’s not really a contract, that’s just my way of saying it ain’t gonna be ready on July 1.

I know, I know. I haven’t posted July’s Calendar Boy yet. I have to work…I have mani/pedis to pay for. I can’t spend all my time looking at half nekkid men. And thanks for the offers to help, Amanda and DP, but I don’t want to impose. I will just suffer through it. I promise, I will work on Calendar Boy this weekend. (Celeste, I hope Santa brings you what you want for Christmas. And thank you! You’ve given me a great idea for a post—even better, it doesn’t require me to write anything new.)

Embarrassing Typo

I thought maybe if I confess this on my anonymous blog, I will get it out of my system and stop cringing every time I think about what I did.

Last night I brought a file home so I could work on a letter that needed to be faxed to the client first thing this morning. The letter that was faxed this morning to our single, extremely handsome Banker Client included the following sentence:

If the panties opposing removal do not respond in a timely manner, . . .

PARTIES. I meant PARTIES.

The “r” and the “n” are not even close to each other on the keyboard. How could I have typed panties? Aw, shit. My face is still red.

(sorry, I lost your comments when I took this post down the first time.)

One Last Shot at Being Bad

Okay, JMB thinks I should keep trying. MonkeyGirl suggests I write about pain. Doc’sGirl says I need to get in touch with my inner pervert. And PA, well, she is just a role model for bad.

So, here it goes. One last shot to get my ratings up.

While grilling the chicken breasts, BF burned his hand and was in great pain. And even though he is a manly man, when he doesn’t feel good, he can be a big pain in the ass. He needed painkillers. Damn! I had taken the last two Advil for my cramps. To avoid strangling BF and to get away from his whining, I volunteered to go to the ER and seek some painkillers for him. Being aware of my scrub fetish, and knowing I was a little likkered up from the sex on the beach, BF said he would seek his own drugs from the ER. Since it was just down the street, BF decided to walk. Twelve hours later, BF called me from the ER and told me I needed to come pick him up. It seems he was afraid to walk home alone because while he was waiting to see the ER doc, he kept hearing stories about some dudes with guns and knives who attacked innocent people who were just walking down the street, minding their own business. Being the kind, considerate GF that I am (and recognizing an opportunity to see men in scrubs), I put on my sluttiest outfit and went to pick up BF.

If at first you don't succeed. . .

Mingle² - Online Dating

I Want to be Dirty Too

I can’t stand it. It’s killing me that ATM is only rated PG. It’s torture. Everyone else's blogs are rated PG-13 and up. I'm tired of being the good girl. I can’t help it if the only time I write about BF is when I’m pissed at him. He may be an old fart trial attorney, but he can be sexy. For example, last night he cut up a chicken with a knife and then tossed the chicken on the grill shotgun style. The chicken breasts and thighs were awesome and he whipped up some ass-kicking BBQ sauce. You can't tell me that a man cooking dinner for a woman isn't sexy. Plus we had sex on the beach.** Twice!

Obviously, posting pictures of half-naked men and writing about butt-pus isn’t enough. I need to write more about body parts. But it’s not going to be easy. When I was writing my post on the positive Throckmorton sign, I couldn’t even bring myself to type the word penis. Instead I chose to link to an X-ray on MDOD and let them explain the implications of a left or right pointing penis.

I guess I can always re-publish the post that I took down last week—-you know, the one about me writing a sexy letter to our client about my PANTIES.



** Sex on the Beach
1 fluid ounce vodka
1/2 fluid ounce melon liqueur
1/2 fluid ounce raspberry flavored liqueur
1 1/2 fluid ounces pineapple juice
1 1/2 fluid ounces cranberry juice

Crap--I want my money back. All those penises and all I got was a lousy PG-13.

Mingle² - Online Dating

ATM is Rated PG

I saw this on Gruntdoc and immediately had to play. I was a little concerned about what my rating would be because I have been known to use the f-word on ATM every once in a while. Okay, I searched--I've used it five times on this blog. And really, one of those fucks belongs to 911 Doc.

Apparently, saying the f-word five times will only get you a PG rating. Whew! What a relief. Now I don't have to worry about losing the under 13 crowd. When you only have 15 readers, you tend to take these things seriously.

This little rating game comes from Mingle2. Anyone else wondering what Gruntdoc was doing on a 100% free online dating site?

Look Fast

Okay, look fast because ATM is rapidly falling.

This morning Addicted to Medblogs was listed as #120 on the list of "The World's Top Blogs on Health and Medicine". When I first saw it, I thought "WTF? They must be trying to sell me something."

After news of the List spread throughout the blogosphere, and the legit medblogs were added, ATM has dropped to #130 [130. Addicted to Medblogs 4 1 9 5 19] . I'll give it another 15 minutes and I'm pretty sure ATM will be off the List forever.

After the riff-raff like ATM is knocked off the List, it will probably be a good source for finding the popular medblogs. But I still think the best place for finding great medblogs is Kim's blogroll on Emergiblog. Big and popular blogs are nice, but those little out-of-the-way medblogs are pretty damn interesting. I love it when I accidently stumble on a great medblog that's kinda off the beaten path. My goal when I first started reading the medblogs was to visit each blog listed on Kim's blogroll. I'd still like to do it, but my job keeps getting in my way.

Oh well, for a few hours, ATM was #120. It was fun while it lasted.