Bailout Application

I was cleaning out the ATM closet and came across these:

I've Got a Brand New Blogroll

Well, not yet.

I can’t put it off any longer. I am finally going to get rid of the Blogrolling blogroll and make the switch to Blogger. What a pain in the ass. It’s going to take me forever to create a new blogroll. In case you ever wondered why I have two blogrolls, the one on top is my original blogroll. I’m sentimental and don’t want to get rid of it.

The first thing I have to do is to figure out why my damn blogroll is on the bottom of the page, instead of the sidebar. [Update - Apparently I screwed up something posting the videos last week. Got rid of them, now everything is in its proper place.]

Second Update: This is going very slow, especially since I forgot to save the last damn batch and lost about 25 entries. I'm trying very hard not to use the f-word right now.

Third Update: I'm not even half finished, so don't worry if I missed you.

Happy Easter!

This cracks me up every year. Happy Easter!

Twitter Confession

I have a Twitter confession to make. I have a secret Twitter account. It's my celebrity/gossip account where I follow Taylor, Demi, Tina, Britney, Perez, etc.

Sure, go ahead and laugh. But guess who I just found out is now following ME? Britney. I am one of her 77,790 close personal friends.

Uh huh. Now who's laughing?

Suggestions for April's Calendar Doc - Update

I think April would be a good month to have a “Calendar Doc” picture of a half nekkid hottie interview. How about y’all pick Dr. April? Leave a comment telling me who you would like to see interviewed. I’ll leave the “Comment Moderation” on, so the final result will be a surprise. Last day for suggestions will be April 10th. If you have any particular questions you want to ask a calendar doc, let me know in the comment section.

Just so you know, in the 2 ½ years I’ve been doing the Calendar Doc series, only one person has refused my request, so you might want to avoid suggesting a certain doctor with a thing for llamas. But other than that, I’ll summon up the courage to ask anyone you can think of.

Remember, the calendar docs don't have to be male!

CLARIFICATION: Comment moderation is ON. I read the comments, but I don't publish them. That way, Dr. April will be a surprise. Oh, come on. I know y'all like surprises. And I have to do something to liven up this boring blog.

April Fools Day Stuff - Updated

I'm such a goofy girl. I am always excited when I see a new Google logo. I really liked their first day of spring logo.


Now I am looking forward to seeing what Google's April Fools Day joke is going to be this year.

Here's a list of the top 100 April Fools Day Hoaxes of All Time. I've only read the first few, but I think I like Burger King's left handed Whopper the best so far.

I need more suggestions for Dr. April. So far, there is a six (6) way tie.

Hmmm. I've gone from angry blogger to boring blogger.

Here's a new one.

Twouble With Twitter

Uh huh.

Kicking Bean Gel's Ass

I spent part of the weekend playing one of those lame Facebook games. It’s called Fashion Wars. That’s me up there. I guess if I was a good fashionista, I’d have chosen the red shoes.

The way I figured it, the object of the game was to make money and earn gifts from celebrities, then buy clothes, accessories, shoes, mani/pedi’s, pocket dogs, cars, etc. Once you accumulated enough stuff, you could challenge another player to a showdown:

"Get that fake Louis (Vuitton) outta my face!"

We're all hot, but who's the hottest? Fight it out in a style showdown with other posses for honor and glory. It's your posse versus theirs: each member of your posse is armed with the best items from the Shop, and it's the same deal for your opponent. You should try to have at least one Essential, one Perk, and one Vehicle for each member of your posse. When you win fights, you win cash, but MOST importantly your popularity increases. Popularity is key to moving up levels.

Yep, you read right. We have posses. In the beginning, my posse consisted of me and the freebie posse member they give all new players.

I got me a naked yoga studio and a NYC penthouse, so I didn’t completely suck. I couldn’t compete with the big girls, and I got my ass whipped on a regular basis, but that was okay because I was having fun and everyone was playing nice -- they would smack me down, take my money, then move on.

When I learned I could hide my money in the bank, things started getting a little nasty:

· 8 hours, 43 minutes ago:
You were smacked down by "passion of fashion"
You lost the fight, taking 22 damage and losing $0 (that meant "passion of fashion" didn't get any of my money).

· 8 hours, 43 minutes ago:
You were smacked down by "passion of fashion"
You lost the fight, taking 19 damage and losing $0 (must have pissed her off, so she clicked on me again).

· 8 hours, 44 minutes ago:
You were smacked down by "passion of fashion"
You lost the fight, taking 13 damage and losing $0 (and, one more time).

Apparently, Passion of Fashion, didn’t like the fact that I was hiding my money and decided to teach me a lesson by clicking on me THREE times and making me lose points. BFD. I didn’t need those points anyway.

Here’s where the trouble began. I had finally saved enough money to buy myself a pink Hummer limo, and before I could even click on the “Buy” button, someone challenges me to a showdown and wins $38,500:

· 4 hours, 38 minutes ago:
You were smacked down by Beangel (Seriously, Bean Gel?)
You lost the fight, taking 16 damage and losing $38,500.

Damn, that hurt, but it’s part of the game.

But then SHE DID IT AGAIN while I was getting money out of the bank to replace the money she had stolen 1 minute before.

· 4 hours, 38 minutes ago:
You were smacked down by Beangel.
You lost the fight, taking 11 damage and losing $11,305.

Bitch.

Now I didn’t have enough money to buy my pink Hummer.

In a snit, I got out the ol’ PayPal account and spent 20 REAL dollars so I could buy me some imaginary friends to be in my posse. Ms. Bean Gel’s ass was grass. I was gonna buy 100 pink Hummer limos and one of those fancy pocket dogs.

It didn’t work out like I planned. Real life got in the way and I didn’t get to implement my evil plan to kick Ms. Bean Gel’s big fat ass.

But I could have – me and my posse.

Angry Blogger

Reading over my last post, I realize that I am starting to become an angry blogger. I need to lighten up. Maybe I should post more pictures of puppies and kittens. Here is a picture of a puppy. Well, a puppy with dead ducks in front of him, but hey, it’s a start.

There’s a reason for my anger, or maybe it’s more disappointment or frustration. The solution is to accept that I will always have to watch what I write on this blog, or start over on a new, more anonymous, blog. I guess I could do both. I’ll have to think about that.

I was trying to think of a funny, non-angry post I could write, but nothing really funny happened to me today. In fact, I was a bit of a bitch all day.

Something did strike me as kind of odd, though. I received an e-mail from opposing counsel today that read “I will file it NLT Tuesday”. That’s the first time I’ve ever received a work-related e-mail that used shorthand lingo like that. I’m not sure if I think it’s strange because that is the first time it has happened, or if I think it’s strange because it doesn’t happen more often.

Update: I dare you not to laugh before you press the "Stop" button. (thanks Andi!)

Blog Stuff

I don’t like the advertising that is a part of Blogrolling now, so I’ve decided to make the switch to Blogger. It’s going to be a pain in the ass and will take some time. I was wondering if I really need a blogroll. I never use it. Since I started reading everything through Google Reader, I rarely visit blogs in person anymore.

Speaking of Google Reader, I will be going back to "short" feeds instead of full posts. I have my reasons and if you’re interested, I’ll be glad to tell you about it in an e-mail.

Speaking of e-mails, I received an e-mail recently, telling me that I was being “chickenshit” for not allowing comments. I’m a lawyer, if you want to insult me, or bully me into doing something, you’re going to have to do better than that. It’s my blog and I’ll do whatever the fuck I want to on it.

Speaking of comments, I will probably turn them on again in a few weeks.

I would like to thank Peter at ParalegalTraining.net for including me in his most entertaining law blog list, although I’m pretty sure there must be a catch and he’s going to want money from me now.

In case you can't tell, I'm a little cranky tonight, so I think I will go to bed now. Y'all have a good week.

Twitters in the Waiting Room

[Yep, I just changed the title.]

This weekend I discovered Twitter Venn Diagrams. I’ll let these smart folks tell you all about them. I thought it would be fun to find out what people were twittering about in your waiting rooms. Here are a few of the more “interesting” tweets:

dear lady in the next bed: "don't worry about it" is an inappropriate response to the ER doctor's question "what meds are you on?"5:20 PM Feb 28th from TwitterFox

Funniest thing I've seen all day: an ER doctor trying to play Wii balance games. Never seen anyone lean with such surgical precision!8:08 PM Mar 1st from web

Omg! hot hot hot doctor at the ER checking my kids.4:34 PM Mar 2nd from txt

In the waiting room of the doctor's office, hoping to get some good meds. *Nate10:30 AM Mar 3rd from txt

Gotta love a doctor's office that has a well-worn copy of the swimsuit issue in the waiting room.7:46 AM Mar 4th from TwitterFon

In a very small room, no windows, waiting for a doctor. Only diff between me and a prisoner is the prisoner knows when he'll get 2 leave.1:40 PM Mar 4th from TwitterBerry

Okay. 25 minutes in the stuffy waiting room. My doctor has no soul.1:11 PM Mar 5th from txt

Long day and darn doctor took forever! Probably got charged for waiting in the waiting room!8:13 PM Mar 2nd from txt

It's odd when random people start a conversation with a stranger in the waiting room at the doctor's office.12:07 PM Mar 3rd from txt

in doctor's waiting room; next to a very attractive girl who is making THAT look every time the doc passes by. ??????1:51 PM Mar 3rd from web

The music of choice in the doctor's office waiting room is chirping birds...I feel like I'm in a forest or something6:04 PM Mar 3rd from mobile web

Waiting in the waiting room @ the doctor. Waiting to go in the smaller room... To wait. 3:46 PM Mar 2nd from TwitterBerry

In the waiting room here and there's a lawyer and a film crew to do a depo on a doctor here. Keep hearing the words liability. Scary.3:58 PM Mar 3rd from Ping.fm

At the doctor. The mind numbing noise of Nancy Grace on waiting room tv is making me feel worse.7:53 PM Mar 3rd from TwitterBerry

I'm 20 minutes away from throwing punches, I'm a very congested grumpy live wire in this waiting room. I miss my doctor back home.11:07 AM Mar 4th from TwitterBerry

gee, I love getting to the doctor's office on time, only to wait an hour and a half in the waiting room and then have a 15 min exam!4:13 PM Mar 4th from web

In the waiting room while my mom visits her eye doctor. Surrounded by old people. Trigger zombie outbreak scenario.9:48 AM Mar 6th from mobile web

Time Change

I hate this time change.

Two Journeys

I’ve been writing this post for weeks, maybe months. I keep coming back to it, never publishing it. I’m not sure why.

Right now I am following the personal journeys of two doctors. One doctor is writing about her family of three learning how to be a family of four. Dr. Au just brought a new baby home and she makes me laugh out loud reading about things like poop. You know, “Mack had a poop today after which the only recourse I had was to just dump him straight into the bath. And then throw out all his clothes. And then move to a new house.” I love seeing a new blog post and can’t wait to read the next chapter, poop and all.

The other doctor writes about a family of five, who will inevitably have to learn how to live as a family of four. Dr. Smak and her husband write courageous blog posts about their four year old son, Henry, and his battle with cancer. I love seeing there’s a new post on their respective blogs, but I hold my breath, praying that when I open it, I will read a post about how Henry had another great day.

2/25/09 -- My heart is breaking tonight for Dr. Smak and her family...

Dr. Dino’s Secret Life

hehehe

Notice I didn’t use links in this post. I think everyone knows how to get to Dr. Dino’s place. And well, y’all probably all know how to get to YouPorn, too, even if you won’t admit it. Umm, you know, if that REALLY is a legitimate website.

P.S., if you’re wondering how my fluff of a blog could draw in over 200,000 visitors, I just made that number up when I opened my new Sitemeter account. Looks impressive, though, doesn’t it?

Medblog Valentine (yep, it's late)

I'm Rich Now

Not really. It was supposed to say $13 million. This would just pay off VISA. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd make a new picture.

Is is "wasn't so lazy"? or "weren't so lazy"? Neither?

If I were not so lazy, I'd make a new picture.

If I was not so lazy, I'd make a new picture.

I guess it would be easier just to find the website again and make a new picture.

Spilt Coffee

I read somewhere that the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. Call me crazy. Why do I keep believing that travel mugs are leak-proof? They aren’t. They never have been. They never will be. I’d write more but I have to go drain the coffee out of my satchel. No leak, my ass.

RTFC

The Wellsphere controversy made me think of something that happened when I first joined The Firm. I was just out of law school and things weren’t going well. I kept making the same mistakes.

I walked into a partner’s office and asked him a question. He didn't say anything. He just opened his desk drawer, took out a Sharpie, and wrote RTFC in big bold letters on a legal pad. Then he got up from his desk, walked to my office, taped the sign to my monitor, and walked out without saying a word.

It wasn’t pretty, but he made his point. I keep the sign in my desk drawer so that I’m always reminded to read the fucking contract.

Sunday

Work, and life in general, kicked my ass last week. I was going to write a post but I took all of these quizzes instead. Let's hope this week is better.

First Post of 2009

I’m back.

Being a non-medical blogger in a medblog world, and a confirmed lurker, I knew I’d never have a lot of visitors, so I never worried much about numbers. But when my Sitemeter numbers started showing 2-3 readers a day, I became concerned. Turns out, all I needed to do was install a new Sitemeter code and I was back up to my usual 15 visitors a day. (Thank you regular visitors; y’all are the best!)

After I wrote the post about jumping the shark, I received a few e-mails suggesting that I write more about work and my personal life.

I stopped writing about work because, when I first started blogging, I made the amateur mistake of accessing my blog at work and now I’m not 100% sure someone at work doesn’t read my blog. I’d feel more comfortable writing work-related posts if I knew the people I worked with weren’t reading my blog. But, I’m going to try to post more work related stories. It's not like they don't already know they are arrogant, exasperating asses.

I’m not real comfortable writing about my personal life because that’s just the way I am. Plus, in the beginning, I’d only write about the bf when I was pissed at him, prompting a few comments and e-mails about how I should dump the bum. My posts put a good man in a bad light, and that wasn’t fair to him. But I will try to post more personal stories, mainly about the similarities I see between the practice of law and the practice of medicine, and how occasionally reading the medblogs helps me deal with some of the issues that come up in my personal and professional life.

Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?